I am not unique. I always thought I was. I thought I was the only one who could write at length about anything I know absolutely nothing about. Apparently not. Other people can write absolute drivel just like me.
I was sitting at the hairdressers the other day waiting for my shoes to be mended. He does it as a side-line whilst you wait. You don’t need to come back later and collect your head already styled and washed.
Anyway, there I was waiting for my turn to have my curls re-curled and I was reading this magazine. There was an article advocating that we should buy second-hand already-used toothbrushes instead of new ones. It seems already-used toothbrushes have the bristles already softened. Unlike new toothbrushes with hard bristles which can be harmful to the gums.
Now I’ll admit I’ve often had problems with hard bristles; but never knew where to buy-already used toothbrushes. I just used to drive the car a few times over new toothbrushes to soften the bristles. Admittedly, sometimes this broke the handles of the toothbrush; but it was easier than searching into neighbours’ trash bins.
Did you also know that when you leave your hair behind when it’s been cut you are leaving a lot of DNA at the hairdressers? DNA is that twisty thing within us which can identify us as a unique individual. The hairdresser can use the DNA in your hair to clone another you. Before you know it, there will be many copies of you walking around and you’ll no longer be unique. Can you imagine? A whole street full of you! You would not know which one is the real you.
I always ask the hairdresser for my hair back. He stuffs it into my mended shoes as I leave.
Next door to the hairdressers there is a second-hand bookshop. It’s not the shop that is second-hand, but the books in it. These are books that have been donated and they are sold and the money given to charity.
On the bookshop’s window it reads, “Don’t judge a book by its cover. Come in and find out.”
I’m glad I did. I’ve discovered that Dickens’ Great Expectations has nothing to do with chocolates as I always thought. To kill a mocking bird is not about hunting. And Fifty Shades of Grey is not a colouring in book!!!
I also found out that Isaac Newton discovered gravy whilst sitting under an apple tree. What he was doing cooking outdoors under a tree I do not know. He also said, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” He has obviously never had an argument with my wife. There’s nothing equal in her reaction!!!
I picked up a book called Dictionary and read it for a while. The author kept changing the subject every minute or so. I could not make out the plot.
In another book I learnt that the lobster’s DNA never disintegrates. It renews itself. So technically it never ages and would not die. Unless you make a lobster thermidor or a lobster bisque.
There was a book about fine wines. Did you know that fine wines are left to mature in oak caskets for many years in cellars in old castles or in caves by the sea? They mature to the sound of silence by Simon and Garfunkel, I believe. It said in the book you must not talk loudly when in such a cellar or cave as it disturbs the wine.
There was also a book called Telephone Directory. I tried to read it but the list of authors was endless. No story or plot. Just a list of authors. Who’d ever buy a book like this?