As a child, while behaving (reasonably) well in the backyard of the family home at Georgetown, Ontario, the earth suddenly opened and swallowed me up.
Perhaps I overdramatize. The explanation was a disused and forgotten septic tank, which collapsed underneath me. My descent was less than six feet, but I did require the assistance of an uncle to fetch me out.
Later, a considerable truckload of dirt followed me into the hole. By this time, I was staying out of it, on strict orders from my mama, though I imagined that I had spied passages leading to an enticing underground world. Children,

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